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Counseling with Dr. Stephen Walker
Treatment Philosophy Highlights
- I treat each individual with respect and an
overriding appreciation of the unique qualities each
person brings to our relationship.
- I view the challenge of helping people get
control over their lives as an honor. The collaboration
is a special form of coaching, and one that evolves
as goals are met and skills are acquired.
- I promise to listen, work to understand you
and how your life must look like from the inside out.
I will focus on offering counsel that is not only fitting
of your circumstances, but is respectful of your capabilities.
- You also are obligated to work in this collaboration.
You must be willing to "try on some new behaviors"
long enough to see whether you like the results better.
- We will work together as a team.
Treatment Philosophy
When I first meet a new client, my intention is to make sure there is a good fit to our personalities and that our rapport is constructive and helpful. Because I believe our happiness as human beings is related to our attitudes, our sense of purpose, our interpretation of the events and challenges around us, and most assuredly, it is related to our competencies. We have a variety of skill levels in almost every area of life. Mental skills, stress management skills, relationship skills, financial management skills . . . our abilities in every area of life are based on our skill sets. If we've developed a wide range of competencies our life experience is greatly enhanced. If not, our life is filled with challenges we might easily have avoided.
Both of us must work in this collaboration. Because we are creatures of habit we must recognize the fact that if we continue to do what we've always done, we will likely get what we've always gotten. What we've always gotten is probably not what we wanted, but we didn't know how to change the patterns in place. Just recognizing the patterns that bind us is not enough, it is the purposeful execution of a conscious 'trial and error' process that will help us make the kinds of changes that stick.
You will have homework between our meetings. Sometimes the homework involves having a conversation with someone, sometimes it means keeping a journal of your mood, energy level, sleep, and appetites in conjunction with your daily calendar. Homework is individually structured and is rarely the same for any two people.
To create a vibrant and effective team we will have to collaborate effectively. You will be required to teach me about those things that are important to you, about your strengths and weaknesses so that together we can devise a plan. That plan will identify the situations we want to improve upon, the goals we want to achieve, and the skill sets that will make it possible. Sometimes the work is hard and requires courage to carry on, sometimes it is fun. Even when the work is difficult, we will strive to bring humor into it…to keep things in balance.
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Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy
Therapists are trained in a variety of ways and through different schools of thought. I am a cognitive-behavioral therapist. I strive to learn about and understand how you think about things (e.g. your values, upbringing, family structure, schooling, religious and athletic influences, including what you've learned from friends, teachers, coaches and key mentors). I also explore how these cognitive influences have impacted your behavior. Since the learning laboratory of life is always open, your behavior is noted in the way you sleep as well as how you solve problems, deal with adversity, and experience joy. What you do for fun is more important than you might think.
Specific Areas of Concentration
My work focuses on the treatment of stress related disorders and the health concerns attributable to them. This focus on stress management and health psychology has been a unifying focus in my work for over 30 years. The sources of stress may include intra-personal concerns that are a product of growing and maturing throughout one's lifetime. Perhaps the sources of stress may tax a marriage and lessen a person's satisfaction in relationship. Parental stress can be overwhelming as can occupational stress. Either can interfere with sleep patterns, dietary choices and even our basic quality of life benchmarks. Many times our responses to stress are maladaptive or threaten our long term health and survivability. In virtually every circumstance I develop an awareness of each person's experience of the stress in their lives and endeavor to help them acquire healthy and productive skills enabling them to thrive and enjoy life.
I work diligently to help people address the stressors that contribute to heart disease, stroke, and many other maladies can deteriorate our quality of life. Depression, anxiety, panic disorders, Type "D" personality type, social isolation, inadequate support systems, and poor anger management predispose too many of us to a huge number of health concerns. My continued focus on the presentation of Heart & Mind Seminars, and my ongoing research with the Denver Bronco Alumni reflect my commitment to providing state-of-the-art health psychology services and to do my best to equip each person with heart healthy skills.
Kids between the ages of 8 - 16 are particularly encouraged to begin exploring their life from the framework of skill sets. Understanding how to "breathe" for stress reduction, how to "relax their muscles," how to meet people, how to manage the overwhelming feelings of mad, sad, glad, scared and confused, and how to observe people so that they might determine what kind of friend they are likely to become, are useful components to my work with each and every child.
Oftentimes it is more helpful to embark on counseling before any precipitating problem occurs. People who view the process as an advantage learn to become proactive easily. Those who are adept at initiating rather than reacting, learn to create opportunities for themselves they otherwise might never have known.
Kids who are overly shy, have trouble asking for what they want, and who tend to avoid people and activities are likely candidates for anxiety disorders in their adult years. Children who are angry, oppositional, distant, and truant may be "acting out" depressive symptoms or experience feelings of "powerlessness." Mood fluctuations are relatively normal during adolescence; however, outbursts that consistently disrupt harmony in the family should be tended to as a matter of importance.
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Parents who become concerned with patterns of behavior at any age are likely to benefit most from "parental coaching." This type of intervention does not involve the child in therapy, but rather focuses on how parents can come together in structuring the child's environment to accomplish certain goals and enable the child to successfully complete necessary developmental tasks.
Family life now is comprised of all kinds of situations and circumstances. Families impacted by divorce, blended families, or families that have been created or influenced by adoption in one form or another are heartily encouraged to take a proactive approach toward "conscious parenting" and "parental coaching." The old adage of, "An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure," has never been more true.
In the State of Colorado, I have been trained as Special Advocate of the Court in matters of high conflict divorce. My work however, is proactively focused on establishing and maintaining collaborative and child-centered relationships with each and every parent, whether married or divorced. In these situations my primary responsibility is focused on keeping the best interests of the child in mind.
There are many circumstances when couples and families would like to improve upon their communication patterns, decision making, goal setting, life planning and overall approach to the bumps in the road life presents us with.
Each of these components implores us to look at ourselves and our own individual development personally and as a relationship person. As an individual we are accustomed to communicating the way we do with some regard for how we are understood. Yet in relationship we are prone to misunderstand one another because we assume they communicate in the same way we do. Research has shown gender biases are much greater than we might think. How these things play out in relationship is important.
Decision making is a pivotal concern in relationship. Not only do we have our own style of decision making, we are used to doing it the way we've always done it. When our decisions impact others in our life, building consensus becomes more desirable if not necessary. Negotiations may involve various levels of competition for our wants; collaboration, compromise and accommodation are frequently used. Sometimes people avoid discussion surrounding decision making because they fear conflict. The greater the degree of consensus building used in relationship the fewer the resentments experienced by one or both partners. When we agree on a decision we each feel compelled to share responsibility for the outcome. Hence, we avoid the "blame game."
Goal setting and Life Planning give us something to develop team work with. Many people in relationship assume that their partners want the same things they want. This may not be so. Until open discussion of personal and relationship goals and life planning occurs, true compatibility cannot be determined. A systematic review of personal goals, background, mutual interests, and behavior patterns is more necessary than one might think, especially if our stated intentions do not result in the commitment and mutually shared satisfaction we hoped for. Unwittingly, we might be sabotaging ourselves.
Parenting concerns tend to bring out many of these issues even if other challenges in our lives haven't already done so. These are but a few of the issues and discussions that once agreed upon contribute to a much greater sense of harmony experienced by every member of the family.
I have worked successfully with hundreds of couples, families, work groups, sport & athletic teams to build consensus and establish clearly defined common goals through the creation of functional communication patterns and decision making that takes into account the perceptions and needs of each individual. The process proceeds as quickly as possible, but as deliberately as is necessary. It can be a joyful and encouraging process as well, and one that really helps us understand our life purpose and roles in relationship and in life.
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Dr. Stephen Walker
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Boulder County Office:
5829 Niwot Road
Niwot, CO 80503
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Cherry Creek Office:
201 Columbine Street, Suite 150
Denver, CO 80206
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Phone: 303-530-4439
Fax: 303-530-4643
Email
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© 2006 by Stephen E. Walker. All Rights Reserved.
Website Design by Annie Hughes for Earthshine Design.
Photos by Louise Hamelin, Charles Pfeil, Delly Carr, Paul Towlen, and Donna Walker, used by permission.
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